


Outburst

by xforevrgonex



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Angst, Billie Rodriguez, F/M, I'm Sorry, Idk how to tag things, Synths (Humans), danse being an asshole, grandpa nick
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-05
Updated: 2016-08-29
Packaged: 2018-06-06 14:44:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6758272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xforevrgonex/pseuds/xforevrgonex
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The relay worked and Billie is coming back, but not to the Prydwen. Not back to Danse. She can't look him in the face after discovering the worst in the belly of the Institute. She has two choices: ruin everything she's built up with Danse, or break the very foundation he stands on. Unfortunately for his sake, she's a selfish one. But he could have guessed that from the moment they met.<br/>((characters, tags, and rating will change with coming updates))</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You and I

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! This is one of my scrap stories that I wrote on the side of my main fic. I hope you enjoy it.  
> ((I listened to Skylar Grey's "I Know You" for a little inspiration))

“Danse, it’s still me! I’m still-“

“You’re nothing but a monster! You don’t deserve to look me in the eye just to lie and tell me you didn’t know! I brought you into the fold and put myself on the line! _I let you in!_ ” His words hung heavy in the air and wrapped around her neck. _**I let you in**. _ The phrase hit her hard enough to make her knees weak and nothing stopped her from crumpling to the ground. He allowed her to breach his defenses, to cross over the trip wires and mines in his heart. He allowed her to unearth a man he thought was long gone. He let her in and this was how she hurt him, with betrayal and deceit. She raised her head to look at him through blurry eyes, hoping for some kind of reconciliation. Instead, she looked down the barrel of his rifle and a sneer that marred his face. 

“Danse, please, I lo-“ _click._ The safety of his rifle was off and threatened her into silence. Her breathing sped up a fraction as the cool edge of the barrel was pressed to her forehead. 

“Don’t you dare say it. You’re a disgusting abomination and I’ll end you right here and now if you finish that sentence or say another word.” She bit her tongue at his venomous tone. Was this still the man who watched her back and saved her life countless times over? Was this the man who showed her how to survive in this unforgiving wasteland? Was this the man who fell into her arms every night and promised to keep her safe? How could she be certain anymore. Nothing was going the way it should have. 

“You’re a disgrace to the Brotherhood and a danger to the people of the Commonwealth. You wont leave here alive.”

“Now, that’s were you’re wrong buddy.” _CRACK_. The butt of a shotgun collided with the back of Danse’s head before he slumped to the ground in front of Billie. She stared wide eyed at a pair of shiny black shades before leaning forward with the holotape in her palm. She scrambled to Danse's side before a warm hand rested on her shoulder and helped pulled her to her feet quickly.

“There’s no time for all of that. He’ll be fine,” Deacon warned, “the Brotherhood is crawling all over the place. I barely made it here undetected.” 

“I just want to make sure you didn’t hurt him, D.” Her voice trembled the same way her hands did before they were engulfed by Deacon’s as they rushed out of the dilapidated shack. At the last minute, she looked over her shoulder and clutched the holotags that hung heavy around her neck. He would come back to her. Whether it be to end her or accept her as she was, it didn’t matter. She would be waiting. _Where you go, I go._

** ___________ **

Throbbing pain spurted at the back of his head and a headache began to prick him awake. What the hell happened? He opened his eyes to a find himself on the floor of a worn shack. For a moment confusion plagued him, then cleared when his memory came back to him. Billie. _Synth_. **_Abomination_**.  **_Traitor_**.

The anger in his chest quickly subsided to heartache. He was back at square one with himself. Vulnerable and broken. Danse put his trust in the hands of the enemy without realizing. It was his own mistake, and he would pay dearly for it. He wasn’t sure how she had gotten the upper hand and escaped. He was moments away from ending her. _It_. The paladin stood slowly and felt the blood rush from his head. _Clink_. A holotape labeled ‘ _Danse’_ landed by his feet in rushed hand writing. As he bent to pick it up, he noticed the few quirks of Billie’s handwriting. The plastic disk felt heavier in his hands and he hurried to place it in the pocket of his uniform. He knew he needed to deal with her the way he did Cutler. They had become what he was sworn to protect humanity from. He knew what he had to do. But the moment his mind was set on hunting the synth down, his heart squeezed painfully and he remembered the look in its frightened eyes. 

_I’m sorry, Danse, please don’t do this_. The way those brown eyes begged him to reconsider his actions. It felt far too human for a machine. Far too _real_ for the emotions to be programed. But just like Cutler, she needed to be the example not an exception.

___________

In the soft glow of the morning, the airport gave off a melancholic sight. Broken down and no longer the beautiful landmark it once was. Billie stared at it from across the bay and felt a twinge of pain as it slowly came back to life. It had been a week since she saw him. The military frequency the Brotherhood used played on a constant loop on the pipboy that rested on her side. _On orders of Elder Maxson, former Knight Belinda Reyes is a declared enemy of the Brotherhood of Steel. If seen, shoot on sight. Do not aid the traitor or your actions will be seen as treason._

She heard Danse's voice repeat the same set of orders for hours on the same spot; with a constant flow of tears and a bottle of whiskey. The hate that was there struck her every time he said her name. It was like he was letting her know he wouldn’t back down. He would find her and he would pull the trigger. If she closed her eyes she could hear him in front of her, rifle in hand and fury in his eyes. She meant absolutely nothing to him. All she embodied was everything he was conditioned to hate. Whatever love that had developed between them was crushed the moment she told him what she truly was. She couldn’t face him again.

“General, we’ve got the Brotherhood at our gates.” Preston’s voice was calming to her nerves and a welcome change to her troubling thoughts. She poured out the rest of the whiskey in her cracked mug and rose to her feet. If she looked as small as she felt, she was sure as hell Preston could’ve stuck her in one of his pockets. Lord knows she would rather be hidden away than deal with what waited on the other side of their gates. With Righteous Authority slung around her back, she lead Preston to the ground with the rest of the Minute Men gathered behind her. Billie could see the faces of those who served by her side, slightly terrified and ready for a fight. 

“Open the gates,” she commanded with her head held high. The steel doors opened to a small team of Brotherhood soldiers dressed in power armor. A familiar suit led the team of three through the threshold and stopped just before the radio tower. Billie stood a yard away from the small group with Preston and Ronnie at her side, "Paladin." 


	2. Blurred Lines

     Silence filled the courtyard. The standstill between the two factions froze time for a moment before one suit of power armor stalked forward and towered over the general with ease.

     “Not so fast, rust bucket, back up.” The tip of Ronnie’s shotgun rested against the power armor chest plate as she moved in front of Billie. The bite in her captain’s tone made her flinch slightly before she shot the woman with a pointed glare. Despite what Shaw thought, now wasn’t the time to antagonize their neighbors across the bay. Facing the man before her she stared in anticipation for any form of retaliation and saw none. She turned on her heel and motioned for him and his team to follow before shouting out orders of her own, “Last time I checked there was a hole in the south wall that’s still in need of repairs, and defenses still needed to be built. Get back to work.” Many went back to their duties in silence while others called out a hurried ‘Yes, ma’am!’ before scuttling off to continue their daily tasks. She exhaled a sigh and made a beeline for her office within the castle. Ronnie and Preston flanked the small party from behind and watched as the paladin waved off one team member to wait by the large office doors. The two officers tried to step inside when Billie stopped them at the threshold, “Preston make sure the reconstruction of the walls are going well. I don’t want a half assed job done on our defenses. Ronnie, there was a training session for the new recruits happening today. Oversee them while I deal with this.”

     “General, I think you should have at least one of us in there with you,” the concern in preston’s tone softened her hard expression. She smiled softly and motioned towards the exit, “I’ll be fine, colonel. I’ll radio if I need help.” She sent them away with a nod and looked over the knight that stood guard at the door. He paid her no mind and was only concerned with acting as a sentry to the doorway. She gave herself a mental once over before walking through her office doors. The furniture was as opulent as was able for the Commonwealth, and it held the most space as it doubled for her own living quarters. 

     Billie quickly seated herself behind her desk before the release on both of sets of armor hissed as the back opened. Scribe Haylen more or less fell out of the contraption, while Paladin Danse stepped down in a more graceful manner. Before either of them sat down Billie reached for three bottles of nuka cola from the cooler behind her. Setting them down, she easily popped the cap on all of them before leaning back in her chair and taking a sip. Just like before, no one said a word. The Paladin wore a blank expression and wouldn’t look her directly, just past her shoulder to stare at the wall. Haylen on the other hand squirmed in her seat. She lookedfar from comfortable and the bundled files on her lap seemed more daunting than just another stack of information. 

     “What business do you have on Minutemen territory, Paladin? Last time I checked you didn’t send notice of you coming arrival and all dressed to the nines. Even Haylen has a set. I can only assume this isn’t official Brotherhood business at all.” Billie’s words echoed against the cold stone walls and caused Danse to look directly at her. He held her gaze before speaking, “It has come to my attention that you’ve contacted a member of my team after your returned from the institute.” 

     “Yes, what of it?” One hand twitched at her curt tone while the other squeezed the neck of her cola bottle. 

     “The information was something she felt was necessary to discuss with the both of us here.” Billie looked down at the drink in her hands and back at Haylen. The scribe looked her with a gaze that was anxious and filled with hesitation. They both knew what was on that holotape. The minute she acquired the information from Father she demanded a spare tape for one of the scribes to go over the data for confirmation. His words played over and over in her head.

_~+~_

_“There’s no reason to lie to you, M4. The man you know as ‘Danse’ is an old courser who was believed to be terminated during an expedition in the Capital Wasteland. But if it would put your mind at ease, we’ll gladly give you what you demand. M7-97’s records were never fully discarded, so it wont be too hard to retrieve.” The man paused for a momentand collected the various folders documenting Billie’s movement and actions around the world above. Even a few odd documents that came from the medical exam with Cade was part of the stack. The one she held was one she wasn't willing to give up. A simple photograph of her and Danse laughing. Dogmeat trailed behind them with a few teddy bears strapped to his back; she remembered that day. It was the day she got Danse to sing with her._

_“I’m surprised really. Who knew this version of Mother was more amicable than the real her.” A chuckle bubbled from his chest as he stowed the papers away in a filing cabinet._

_“Actually, I’ve had a few informants tell me you’ve been making friends all over the Commonwealth. You’ve even made a name for yourself. Nobody expects you to be a synth! It’s quite extraordinary really.” Billie was brought out of her thoughts and the photo was taken from her grasp. The tone of Father’s voice was more interest for his experiment than any actual praise. It hurt her to be thought of just a machine by the man she was programmed to believe was her son. But here in the institute she was regarded with more of a clinical mindset. Above ground was a different story. Her mind immediately flashed to Danse and the Brotherhood. If they could distinguish a few defects in her DNA, would he protect her? Or was she just like Cutler; another example and no longer his best friend._

_“Ahem, M4-95, it’s rude to just ignore me when I speak to you.” Shaun insisted on calling her by her “real” name rather than the one she was programed to know. It pissed her off. Even in the place she was created, she was still considered an object, an ‘it’._

_“My name’s Billie, and as far as I’m concerned Belinda still wanted you to refer to me as your mother.” She wrapped her arms tighter around herself as she stared down at the institute from her room’s window. She didn’t dare look back as footsteps approached her slowly. Father stood besides her as she leaned further into the glass, almost hoping it would break and give way._

_“I realize that you’ve only had so long to process everything. Your true identity, Mother’s death, M7-97’s origins with us. It’s a lot to take in and I’m sorry I can’t afford to give you that time. But I have one last surprise before we take you in for a full medical exam. Shaun, where are you child? Why don’t you come greet your mother?”_

_~+~_

     “I went over the data five times at least, and ran tests from the most recent medical exam from Knight-Captain Cade. The information Billie brought back is accurate. Danse, I’m sorry, but she wasn’t lying.” Haylen’s voice was tight and tumbled along clumsily. She could barely look at either of them. All the while Billie and Danse’s eyes were locked on each other. The general opened her mouth to say something, but Danse immediately stood from his seat, “Whatever you have to say, has already been said. You’ve taken enough from me. Just let it go, synth.” He turned without another word and his nonchalant behavior flared her temper. The crack in his voice failing to stop Billie as she rose from her own seat.

     “Paladin Danse, need I remind you that you came onto _my_ territory, and banged on _my_ Castle gates. You've disrupted my afternoon and distracted my troops from their work. I treat you withnothing but courtesy, and now you’re disrespecting _me_ in my own office. On your airship and within your ranks, I can tolerate your snark. But here among my own soldiers? I will be treated with the same respect you'd kindly give to any commanding officer,” Billie’s shouts echoed through halls of the fort before she lowered her voice and dished out her final blow, “synth.” The man stopped in his tracks before he spun around with dark eyes. She squared her shoulders and held her ground with the same rage burning inside her. Danse snatched the small pistol Haylen kept on her hip with ease and stalked towards Billie without hesitation. Before the general could reach for a gun on the workbench behind her, a single shot rang out as she was tackled into the wall. 

     Small bits of concrete cut her cheek as the minutemen simultaneously collided with the wall and a bullet was lodged into the space by her heard. The impact of her head on the hard surface had her vision blank for a split second as a cold grip searched her collar. _Snap._ Billie thought it had been her neck before she felt a weight being lifted from her chest. Her holotags. Danse watched her reaction carefully. The first time she opened her eyes it was to look at Haylen swiftly before staring into his eyes. He thought he had blinked and imagined it but she kept breaking eye contact with him to give the scribe a panicked look. After a deep breath she spoke softly, “If you’re waiting for an apology, it’s not coming. Otherwise, get out.” Her words fanned against his face and he lost his edge for a single heart beat. 

     “Haylen, take Knight Rhys with you to the gates.” He had sounded as tired as he looked, and it hurt Billie to know she was the source of it all. She took a deep breath as she touched her abdomen for a brief moment. Haylen moved to Danse’s side and rested a hand on his arm, “Paladin, maybe harming the general any further isn’t the best option right now. May I remind you that we’re out manned three to an entire militia.” Billie lifted herself from the spot on the wall and walked around Danse to open the door. It didn’t take long for the paladin re-enter his power armor and walk out of the room. Once the scribe was out of Danse’s peripheral view, the general pushed a folded piece of paper into her hand. _Taffington Boathouse. Four days._ The paper was stowed away in one of the various pockets of the scribe’s vest without question before entering the last set of power armor.

     Shouting from down the hallway drifted towards them. The words ‘trashcan’ and ‘wannabe cowboy’ were a few of Billie’s favorite phrases being tossed around. Knight Rhys blocked the way towards Billie’s quarters as best he could from the gathered minutemen. The paladin’s hand rested on his subordinate’s shoulder to let him know their business was done. Preston rushed past the Brotherhood squad towards Billie with anger and concern marring his features. 

     “General, I heard the gunshot and thought the worst.” Billie smiled softly and pulled the man into a short hug, “You need more than single shot to get rid of me, colonel.” Her attempt to reassure the man all but failed by the disgruntled expression on his face. He had lost friends before, he wasn’t prepared to lose such a close one. 

     The three Brotherhood soldiers congregated in the courtyard and made for the opened gates. Before they could walk over the threshold Billie called after them, “I’ll give you one last warning, Paladin. Tell your elder to stay out of our territory and we’ll stay out of yours.” The pause in his step was all she needed to know she was heard. With the wave of her hand the gates closed and locked, leaving the watch tower sentries trained on their backs. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said This was just a scrap fic, but I have now fully planned this from beginning to end. It looks like a bumpy ride folks lol. Thank you for reading and I'd really appreciate comments on how it's going so far.  
> I also have a tumblr if you guys want to drop by and talk: pandasspace.tumblr.com  
> Until the next update<3 :)


	3. We Come Together Every Time

“Seriously, General? You’ve got to be shitting me.” Ronnie’s voice was a level bellow shouting and a second from punching her commanding officer in the face. Billie trained her expression to stay neutral. She rested her Minutemen hat on the large desk and looked at the pair in front of her, “No, I’m not. If you use that tone with me again I’ll knock you on your ass like the day we met, captain.” 

“Garvey, tell her she’s crazy! She just can’t vanish on temporary leave. Not when there’s so much tension between us and the Brotherhood of Steel. It’s only been two days since they’ve shown up at our doors and I can’t help but shake the feeling that it wont be the last.”

“As far as the brotherhood is concerned, Maxson was never made aware of my standing with the Minutemen. That’s why I can’t be known as the general any longer. I need to disappear. Paladin Danse gave the Elder my holotags as a means of escape for myself. Everyone from Sanctuary to Murkwater knows Belinda Rodriguez is declared an enemy of the Brotherhood. If I’m recognized as the existing general of the Minutemen then Danse is as good as dead. I can’t do that to him, not after everything I’ve put him through. His honor has been shot through too many times by me.” 

“To hell with his honor, general. You’re our leader! I wont have you hiding out in a hole like some mole rat.” Ronnie banged her fists against the sturdy top of her desk. In the small effort to convince her to stay, Billie still held onto her decision. 

Preston was quiet during the meeting. He had been serving under Billie for almost two years, and now she was leaving? Without warning and without paying any mind how it would affect moral or her troops. She insisted it was simply a temporary leave, but there wasn’t a definite time when she would return. The Minutemen fell apart after General Becker died. Would the same happen after Billie left?

“I won’t leave you by your lonesome, Cpt. Shaw. I’m naming Col. Garvey acting general while I’m gone.” Preston looked up at Billie with wide eyes and looked at Ronnie by his side. The captain mulled over the idea for a moment and regarded Garvey as he sat besides her. As far as she knew, the man was overly idealistic but knew he had a vision for the people of the Commonwealth. Although he lacked the expertise and leadership that General Rodriguez had, he would carry on her torch easily. 

“General,” Garvey’s voice wavered, “the only people I was ever in charge of was the group you rescued in Concord. Our numbers dwindled from twenty to five in a month. What kind of leader does that?” Ronnie rested a hand on his shoulder and squeezed gently, “You still tried. Any one else may have ran off and fended for themselves. That’s the difference between a real Minuteman and a person moving to save his own hide.” Ronnie’s tone came out softer than Billie or Preston could expect. A sigh escaped the general as she stood from her chair and looked to Ronnie, “I’d like to speak with Preston in private, Captain.” Ronnie nodded and patted Preston on the shoulder before walking out the office. 

Once the heavy door shut Billie sighed softly and sat besides her friend. The colonel sat idly, fiddling with his gloves. She reached out and held both of his hands in hers to catch his attention, “Preston, I’m asking you as a friend, to hold down the fort while I’m gone. I don’t trust anyone with this kind of responsibility but you. You know every single soldier under my command and everyone of them respects you. They’ll follow you easily and without hesitation.”

“Billie, that’s not what I’m concerned with. I’m worried about you. You saved my ass back in Concord and you’ve been watching my back ever since. I think I deserve an actual reason as to why you’re leaving.” His brown eyes begged her for an explanation and she thought for a moment before expelling every detail.

~+~

_Static crackled in the atmosphere of the airport. She could feel it pulse through her along with the blood in her veins. They exited the vertibird side by side and she slowly inched behind his hulking form. The closer she came to the relay, the farther she walked behind Danse. With a curtain of her curls blocking most of her from view , she left her hair down to hide behind. She felt like she needed some form of a barrier between her and the world when she woke up._

_“Not exactly practical for a stealth mission, but it’s a nice change,”he had told her. She figured he could sense the climbing anxiety in her and tried to distract her some other way. Although the sweet attempt was appreciated, it couldn't deter her mind from the coming mission._

_Danse stopped the pair short of the build cite and turned to look at her. Up until this point, her paladin was a stable rock for her to confide in and ween strength from. Now, his eyes betrayed him and she could see his confidence succumb to something else entirely. He was just as frightened for her as she was the past few days._

_“Danse?” She whispered his name and clenched a fist to keep from reaching out to him in front of others._

_“I just…I wanted to say that if there was anyone who could succeed in this mission, it would be you. You’re the one who brought us this far and I have all of my faith in you. You’re doing us proud soldier. You’re doing me proud.” Her throat squeezed and she blinked away tears to keep them from falling. She breathed through her mouth for a moment before looking up at him with a soft smile, “Thank you, paladin. It means a lot coming from you. If I come back-“_

_“No, when you come back to me,” he quickly corrected her and felt his cheeks flare a moment before continuing, “when you come back to me, knight, we have some things to discuss.” His voice softened the way it did when it was just the two of them and off the record. The change relaxed her and a warmth bubbled in her chest._

_“Too bad you can’t follow me down there and make sure I come back in one piece.” Her mood brightened at his words and her shoulders squared slightly._

_“Too bad.” His voice tapered off into a worried smile. It took him a while to notice a joke when she made one, but this one held more truth for him than she could tell. He checked her over one last time and gestured for her to stand by his side. She quickly acknowledged it and jogged to keep up with his long strides towards the awaiting relay._

_The teleportation device stood over twenty feet tall and lit up with sparks of blue electricity. The anxiety that had been forgotten earlier suddenly pushed to the front of her mind at the sight of it. This was it. She’d finally find Shaun and bring him home. There would be no more obstacles to hurdle over in her life. No more hardships to push her to the brink of heartache._

_“Knight, are you alright?” Danse’s soft voice pulled her from her thoughts and brought her back to reality. She turned to look at him and saw Proctor Ingram and Elder Maxson over his shoulder. All three stared at her and waited for her to finish preparing herself. Billie nodded to him and walked towards the command console. With her shoulders squared and chin held high, she stood at attention and awaited her orders._

_“Good morning, sir. It’s a good day for an infiltration.” Her voice didn’t betray her nervousness and portrayed a woman with the utmost confidence in herself. Maxson smirked and walked towards the relay with hands held behind his back, “I’m glad to hear your enthusiasm knight. That’s the proper attitude I was hoping to see you with today. Proctor Ingram has informed me that the relay is ready for use. I just have one last assignment for you.” He turned towards her and furrowed his brows before speaking, “There is an institute scientist by the name of: Dr. Li. She was once apart of the Brotherhood of Steel back in the Capital Wasteland. As it turns out, we’re in need of her services once again. Convince her to return to base with you along with gathering as much intel as possible. Report to Proctor Ingram for further instructions. Good luck soldier.”_

_Billie saluted Arthur as he dismissed her before standing besides Danse. The two were in a private discussion when she turned towards Ingram. The engineer fiddled with the switches and buttons once more before greeting the knight with a tired smile._

_“Looks like everything is up and running, knight. I just need to go over a few more details before we continue with the mission. First off, Elder Maxson has ordered you to gather Institute intel while you’re there. Take this holotape and insert it into any command console you see there. It should do the rest from then on out and all you have to worry about is getting it back here safely. Secondly, the relay is stable when on standby. Neither me nor my scribes know just what will happen when we pull the switch. It’s best to stay still from beginning to end. Lastly,” she whispered, “stay safe. I know Maxson is confident in your abilities, but Danse is worrying his ass off over there. I am too. I just want you to know that you have a family to come back to here.”_

_Billie opened her mouth to say something in return and was stopped short when Ingram placed the holotape in front of her face. The knight furrowed her brows before stowing away the device and looked back at the red head. She was waved off towards the platform and heard the proctor say ‘I don’t do sappy stuff’ to one of the giggling scribes._

_The brunette exhaled deeply and stood in the middle of the platform with her eyes on Danse. She could see the worry bubble through in his brown eyes and she felt her heart go out to him. She wished to tell him she would be alright, and that she would come home. But all she could manage was a shout to confirm she was ready to go._

_Ingram began calling orders for the group of scribes to give the relay a wide berth before pushing the switch on the control panel. The static within the courtyard increased and she felt the hair on the back of her neck raise. She closed her eyes and counted in her head. One, two three._

_She waited for the pain; expecting some form of agony to piece her apart just so. But nothing came. Instead, she reformed in a metal room facing an open doorway. There was barely any complications when teleporting, and no defenses were awaiting for her arrival. It felt far too easy for her to just arrive out of, literally, thin air and not alert anyone. It was times like these she remembered why stealth was never a first choice for infiltration. Sneaking about in the shadows always felt far too unsettling for her tastes.The few goosebumps that littered her arms were swiped away with her warm palms and she inhaled deeply to relax herself._

_After Billie took a brief moment to regain her composure, she reached for the sidearm strapped to her side and skirted out of the room on her toes. The following room was empty and held only a few tools and a single console underneath a row of recess lights. A shaky breath left her as she took Ingram’s holotape from one of her pockets. She hesitated before inserting the ‘tape into the command console. If the Institute lacked any form of physical defense at their entrance, she guessed there wouldn’t be any in their computer system. To her disbelief, there was no need for her to hack into the console or bypass any security. Like Ingram had said, Institute information was downloaded onto the holotape automatically. The process was over quickly and the ‘tape was ejected a few minutes later. Billie stepped back from the platform and looked around her surroundings once again. Much of the room matched the wasteland up above, dusty and unsaturated. The only part of that looked out of place was the large glass elevator. The surface of it gleamed under the fluorescent lighting and Billie hesitated before pressing the button to activate the doors. They slid open with ease and as she stepped onto the platform one of the intercoms crackled to life._

_“So it seems you’ve made it this far since the vault. I was expecting you to not make it at all but here you are.” The soothing voice of a man filled the elevator as she was taken deeper into the Institute. She reached for the Deliverer on her hip and the speaker blared to life once again._

_“I won’t lie, there was a small part of me that hoped you would be strong enough to survive above ground. But there were so many factors going against you; even with our help. I hope you aren’t upset with our lack of intervention. Just step into the elevator and we can finally meet.” Although the voice held no animosity towards her trespassing, her guard stayed vigilant and she hesitated before stepping over the threshold. The hiss of the closing door sent a shiver down her spine. A sensory detail that sent her back to the vault and into her cryopod. She stumbled back into the glass wall to steady her fast beating heart and heard the speaker blare once again._

_“You’ve spent a significant time above trying to fund us, the ‘Boogey Man’ of the Commonwealth. I can assure you that those accusations are far from the truth. If you let me show you that is. My name is, Father, and welcome to the Institute.” The further below the elevator went, the more she saw of the society underground. Pristine, bright, artificial. The only words that came to mind as she absorbed the scenery around her. There was so much green here compared to the world above. A patch of green and a few trees here and there, with a manmade river running through a courtyard. Everything seemed almost prewar, but the people wandering about in lab coats told her otherwise. Her descent took her further past the busy people and into a more secluded area when the voice began speaking again, “Here, we hold the existence of humanity as our first priority. To ensure we overcome the errors of our ancestors’ pasts. The greatest of humanity live here and make strides in science to ensure a better future._

_As you can see, the state of the world above is barely livable. So until we are able to correct it, we must remain underground and further our technology to do so. You could play a large part in our success if you would like to discuss it with me. But that can wait for another time. My sources have told me that you are here for a more…personal objective. You came here looking for answers concerning your son. I would like to be the first one to tell you your search is not in vain.” His last few words had her heart beating furiously as she leaned against the wall. Shaun was here. Her baby was here and she could find the power to make herself move out of this goddamn elevator to find him. What would she do when she took him from this place. Would he recognize her? Would he even want to leave with her?_

_“I realize that processing all of this information can be very overwhelming. If you continue down the hallway we can properly talk about things.” Billie’s head snapped up to see the elevator had touched down at the lowest level and the door had opened into a brightly lit hallway. She inhaled deeply before squaring her shoulders and walking forward on stiff legs. The further she ventured into the passageway she felt as if the space moved in towards her. She steadied herself with a hand on a metal wall and kept her slow pace. The knight wished her paladin was behind her. In situations of great stress she had always relied on those around her to gather her strength and surge forward. She did so in Anchorage, when at home with Nate, and now with Danse at her side. But alone underneath the wasteland, she began to feel weak and doubt her every decision._

_Without realizing, her worries carried her towards an open doorway. The bright lights reflected off of the immaculate white surfaces and temporarily blinded her. She walked through the threshold and stopped mid-step to the sound of a soft voice._

_“Who are you?” Billie blinked and felt her voice catch in her throat. A little boy stared at her doe-eyed with soft curly hair framing his face. She stepped forward and kneeled in front of the glass room he was inside. The child furrowed his brows and all of a sudden it was like she was staring at Nate._

_“Are you Shaun?” Her voice trembled the same way her body shook from holding back her tears. The little boy looked taken back by the fact that she knew his name, “Father, who is this lady? How does she know who I am? Father!” Shaun backed up into the wall as Billie pressed herself closer to open up the door, “Shaun, baby, it’s me. I’m your mom. It’s alright, I promise. You don’t have to be afraid of me.”_

_Her words came out as frantic as the child looked and suddenly a door off to the side slid open. Billie barely acknowledged it as she tried calming down the boy inside the glass enclosure._

_“Shaun, S9-23. Recall code: Cirrus.” The soothing voice no longer came from the speakers above, but instead besides her. Once the recall code was spoken the boy’s head drooped and he stood silent and motionless. She wanted to scream when she realized that the Shaun in front of her wasn’t her son. But her voice caught in her throat and all she could do was scramble away from the synth in front of her._

_“An interesting thing to observe. The effects of extreme emotional stimuli will still have to undergo a few more tests I see. His reaction to you wasn’t at all what I expected, but he’s only a prototype. You understand, don’t you,” A tall man with gray hair stepped towards her and offered his hand to help Billie to her feet. She ignored it and quickly stood on her own. With her hand a second away from unholstering Deliverer, the stranger held up his hands up in a sign of peace._

_“There’s no need to resort to violence here. I promised you answers and I’m here to give them to you. Under the condition that you don’t cause any harm to me or the others who reside here.”Billie’s anger flared as she complied, “Alright, I’ll play your way. Now tell me where my son is. Where is Shaun?”_

_The stranger offered an easy smile that wrinkled his face in an odd way. He had probably meant for it to calm her. Instead it put her on edge and she looked away from him back to the synth child. She just wanted to grab Shaun and go. There was a new life waiting for them in the Commonwealth. She’d be damned it something or someone robbed her again._

_“I understand your eagerness to find your son, but let’s start with something a little easier shall we? Down here, I am known as the Director of the institute. Many address me as, Father. But you…you can call me, Shaun.” Father’s words tapered off slowly and caused Billie to step back in shock. No. This man wasn’t her son. This man couldn’t possibly be her baby boy!_

_“You’re a liar! I wont tolerate your games any longer! Just give me my son and let us go on our way.” Deliverer leveled with Father’s eyes with the safety off in one swift motion. The man was barely threatened by her actions, and instead he put his hand on the pistol to lower it from his face. His easy smile was gone, replaced by a look of disappointment._

_“I told you,” he started, “I wont tolerate your violence. I don’t want to force you to give up your weapons but I will if you don’t comply properly. Now, lower the gun so we can discuss this matter like adults.”Billie let her arm drop as she heaved all the shit she’s been through and pushed them out as silent tears. She wiped her face quickly and glared at the man who stood before her, “You…,” she started, “how did time get so stretched between us that I’ve missed your entire life? How could you grow up without me?”_

_Billie’s tears barely affected Shaun. The only emotion pooling in his eyes were pity and…disappointment. His eyes lowered to the floor before he gave her his attention once again, “After having endured all the hardships of the Commonwealth to find me, you’ve finally found me. You’ve been gone from life for sixty years. Now, here we are. You and I can finally be the family we were meant to be. Down here we can be safe, away from all the dangers the wasteland contains. We can begin again.”  
“A family,” she whispered. The word was turned over in her head many times before. Speaking it now before her son seemed so bizarre. She thought back to before the bombs, when her own family was complete. Oh god, what she wouldn’t give for Nate to see their boy one more time._

_“Your father. He never got to teach you to be your own man. It was his one dream after you were born. He loved you…WE loved you so much.”_

_“Yes. What happened to him was unfortunate to say the least. A little bit of collateral damage, you understand.”Not only had her son spoken so callously of his father’s death. Even the confession of his parents’ love for him could change the indifferent look in his eyes. The lack of change in him squeezed her heart for all its worth and fresh tears began to blur her vision. Whether the tears came from heartache or disappointment, Billie could no longer differentiate the two. So she turned the intense feelings into the one thing that she could count on, her anger. She stepped forward and glared at the man before her, “Is that all he was to you? What we were to you?”_

_“Please, don’t be offended by my lack of emotions. I realize that for you it’s only been a few years since you’ve left the vault. For me it was an entire lifetime without you both. Of course I had my questions and low points, but I had my time to grieve. I only wish to put the hard past behind and move forward. If you’ll accompany me.” His eyes echoed empty promises that held a hidden catch for her alone. Billie hesitated and wearily eyed his offered hand. The future with her son was what she wanted, right? A future to give him all the love he deserved. One where the both of them would be together and make memories that they had both been cheated of. Although this wasn’t exactly what she had thought of, it was the second chance she had been granted. But it felt hollow. She couldn't accept his offer for a brighter future. Not this way. Not down here in the dark._

_“I’ve waited for this moment for so long, that I was sure it was what I needed to continue with my life above. But I-I’m sorry,” she whispered with shaking words, “I can’t. We can’t…there’s no way forward down here. Not with how you’ve carried on with your experiments and your treatment of the people in the Commonwealth.”_

_A few lines creased Shaun’s forehead in slight frustration. He cleared his throat and turned away from her for a moment before speaking. Hearing her speak with such care for those above struck a chord with him. Hadn’t he been her ultimate priority? Wasn't he the one she had been suffering for? Didn’t she admit to wanting to build a life with him in it? He would’ve been able to answer all of these questions with ease, but now he wasn’t so sure._

_“Taking me up on my offer shouldn’t be this hard,” he stated, “we’ve been separated for so long and our mission is a noble one. Why can’t you just accept and begin again down here in the Institute?” Without missing a beat, Billie reached out to hold his cold hands, “It isn’t that hard a decision to make. I love you, Shaun, and I want to have you in my life. But not once have you referred to me as your mother. It’s like you can’t even acknowledge that fact and it hurts me.”_

_Shaun opened his mouth to speak, when the doors behind him opened with a dull hiss. Both of them turned, surprised to find an old woman who stood tall despite her short stature. Her wrinkled face squished and looked visibly etched with anger. Her white hair was held in a tight bun atop her head with a few curling locks coming loose. Everything about her seemed so rigid and demanding. Regardless of her intimidating aura, Shaun seemed to relax in her presence. His thin hands slipped from her hold eagerly to reach out to the woman before them. He rested a gentle hand on the woman’s shoulder before she spoke. She sneered and it carried into her words, “I’ve heard enough of this ridiculous prattle, Shaun. This experiment ends today.”_

_“Mother, wait I need more-!”_

_“Mother…?” Billie’s hushed words echoed loudly in her ears and shook her to her core._

_“Yes, that is what I am to Shaun. It would be wise for you to remember it, and forget any notion that that’s what you would be to him.” The knight looked from Shaun to the old woman and back to gather an answer to the question forming in her head. What the hell is going on?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First things first, I'm so sorry that I let such a large gap go on between this chapter and the last. I know it sucks when fics don't update on the regular. It took me an entire month to write up ten chapters that would help me update weekly, but I didn't like the way they were written or paced so I scrapped ALL of it lol So I hope the wait was worth it, haha.  
> Secondly, I appreciate all of those reading this fic as well! This entire thing has turned into my baby lol  
> Lastly, I would also appreciate a comment/review. They always help with writing faster^^

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading everyone! :)


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